Admit it: Sometimes you go to the gym to meet women. After all, it’s a sneaky-smart way to find a date: You already have a shared interest with her, she doesn’t have her guard up at the gym like she does at the bar, and you can’t help but enjoy sneaking a peek at fit chicks in sports bras.
And yet, men manage to constantly blow the art of picking up women at the gym. So we consulted with top female experts to find the five worst flirting faux-pas you make, and how you can avoid each one.
DON’T:
1. Look like a slob. It’s possible that you’ve screwed up before you even walked out your front door. Many dudes figure a ratty T-shirt and mesh shorts they’ve owned since middle school make the perfect gym outfit. Not so much. “Dirty white T-shirts are definitely not a conversation starter,” says Amanda Sanders, an NYC-based image consultant who has worked with the likes of Chris Rock and Jamie Foxx. “It shows he’s a man who doesn’t take care of himself.” Among Sanders’ other no-nos: Swiss-cheese-like holes in your shirt, too-short shorts, black socks paired with white sneakers, and ’80s-era track suits. You don’t have to show up to the gym dressed to the nines, but don’t leave the house looking like a hobo.
2. Stare at yourself. Sure, when you’re shoulder-pressing heavy dumbbells, it helps to look at the mirror to make sure you don’t drop a 50-pound weight on your head. Women understand that. What they have less tolerance for, however, is vain gym rats who keep flexing in the mirror. Save it for the privacy of your own home. Staring at your guns too much at the gym shows you’re either egotistical or insecure, says Jennifer Zucher, a matchmaker who stars on Bravo’s Love Broker. “Either way, it’s not positive,” and makes you look way too serious, she laments. Eye contact is critical to gauge a women’s interest. Don’t waste those gazes on yourself.
3. Sweat like a stinky pig. Of course, everyone who’s getting a good workout sweats. But the gym towels are there for a reason, says Lori Zaslow, Zucher’s fellow matchmaker on Love Broker. ”Save what you’re going to look like in bed for the bed,” she says. Rachel Buschert Vaziralli, an NYC group fitness instructor, notes that several men in her cycling classes put on cologne to try to cover up their inevitable stench. “That doesn’t work because then you just have the b.o. and bad cologne,” she says.
4. Offer unsolicited fitness advice. You may have a decade of squats in your rearview mirror, but that doesn’t mean everyone at the gym wants the benefit of your wisdom. Buschert Vaziralli says giving a fitness correction out of the blue is oftentimes a big fail. “No one wants to feel like they’re doing something wrong,” she says. And even if you’re not offering advice, let her at least finish her set before you approach, says Diana Chaloux, a personal trainer and fitness model in Kansas City. And be advised: A woman who’s listening to music or watching TV is probably in no mood to talk.
5. Discuss a woman’s body like a piece of meat. You might think it’s bold and beautiful to approach your gym crush and say, “Wow, you have a terrific body.” But commenting on her bod is a “pretty big mistake,” says dating coach Tracy Steinberg. “Most women have decent bodies at the gym, and they know it. It makes you seem like you’re only interested in their body if that’s the first sentence out of your mouth.”
So, how do you score her digits at the gym? Keep these tips in mind the next time you’re looking for someone more than just a fitness buddy.
DO:
1. Engage in random acts of kindness. Women like feeling as though a man is taking care of them, says Steinberg. Try gently approaching her and say, “I’m going to fill up my water bottle—do you want me to fill up yours?” Steinberg suggests. Chaloux, who’s married to a fellow fitness model, says it’s important to “be nice to everyone around you. Don’t walk around throwing weights, acting like you own the place. There’s a fine line between confidence, which is attractive, and just being a douchebag.” And chivalrously asking a woman if she needs a spot is a “guarantee to make the girl at least smile,” says Zucher.
2. Dress to impress. Ditch the white T-shirts, which easily stain and turn unappealingly transparent with sweat, advises Sanders. Go for darker colors, like navy or black. Shorts should graze the knee. Socks should hit the ankle, or slightly above. Toss out old sneakers, Sanders adds. You’re at the gym. Sweat is expected. Just don’t forget to wipe it off. And remember: Deodorant and gum are made for a reason, Zaslow adds.
3. Offer humble and sweet praise. Instead of arrogantly telling a woman the proper way to do crunches, why not offer your compliments on her terrific form, suggests Buschert Vaziralli. She recalls a man who once offered her a backhanded compliment: “Wow, your workout is almost as hard as mine.” Oof. Instead, try “‘Whoa! That’s crazy hard. I can’t even do that’ and show that you’re impressed,” Buschert Vaziralli says. Or, if a woman is going all Usain Bolt on a treadmill, something simple—once she’s done, mind you—like, “Wow, you’re a really fast runner” can get the conversation started.
4. Get a little help from the help. If you’re feeling shy, there’s no harm in doing some reporting before you go in for the kill, says Zaslow. It’s okay to ask a trainer or gym receptionist if they know if a particular woman is single. “The gym is a small community. People gossip.” And better to know in advance before you go hit on a married woman and enrage her muscle-head husband, who’s just ten feet away benching 250 pounds.
5. Suggest meeting away from the gym. Once you’ve successfully engaged a woman in conversation, mix it up, and show there’s more to you than the gym. Suggest getting a cocktail or coffee for a first date, Zaslow suggests, because those dates are more intimate and involve more eye contact.
No comments:
Post a Comment